NOTE FROM MY SHRINK

"Mr. Oscar, I'm Doctor Benjamin, for the next three months or longer as the case maybe I'll be sitting here every Thursday to hear you talk about whatever you feel like moving off your chest."

Oscar sat down without uttering a word. He just watched as Doctor Benjamin brought out his note book, and a fountain pen.

"I will just take records of necessary things to see how i can properly help you." He reassured.

"So Mr. Oscar, do you know why you are here?" He asked.

After a brief pause. "You make it look like I committed and ofence and was sent to the principal's office." Oscar said.

"If you say it like that, then, I would ask. Did anything go wrong?" Doc asked.

Oscar had carried the weight of serving in the military for almost half of his life. The pictures had been glued to his memory and almost inseperable like they were part of him. People with those scars see talking as a form of weakness and not strength and it was no different from Oscar.
Doctor Benjamin had been long in the business and he knew ex soldiers found it really hard to talk. They only come to his office for a pass to their superiors and not really for help.
So the Doc had to lure him in.
"Serving in the military must have been your dream as a little kid right?

"My Dad, always wanted a son who would follow after his footsteps. He was High ranking officer in the army. He wanted the same for me. But I've always been one to run towards the fire." Oscar replied.

"And I guess that didn't settle well with your Dad? The Doc asked.
Oscar just nodded. The Doc scribbled something on his notebook.
"Tell me about your childhood?" He asked.

Oscar rubbed his hand roughly on his hair.
"I had a fun childhood. My Dad and I were really close. Actually we got closer when Mum passed. My Dad had to play both the fatherly and motherly roll. When I told him I was going to be a soldier like him, he was so proud of himself."

The Doc sat and listened attentively.
"Serving as a field officer was a decision I made in anger because I knew it would piss my Dad off." Oscar added.

"I guess things went sour with your Dad?" Doc asked.

"He remarried. I know you think I'm selfish but I felt like he would have other children and leave me behind."

"Though it wasn't intentional but he started paying attention to his new wife and I felt a little bit neglected. Bring a field soldier got his attention and pissed him off. Deep down I liked it."

"So what's your relationship with your Dad like recently." Doc asked.

"His dead." After a brief pause as if carefully thinking of his next words. "Before he died, we got a chance to talk and we tried fixing things."

"Did you?"

"Not totally."

The Doc knew he was drawing near to the heart of his conversation.
"I can see a scar on your knee. Can you tell me how it came about.? Doc asked.

Oscar knew his walls were already coming down immediately the Doc got him to talk about his childhood experience.

"My last mission was bad. The intel we got was bad and when we got to the location..it was an ambush. We had no way of escape. At least I had it easy compared to my team."

"That experience does it have any effect on your performance and daily functioning?"

"You bet."
"I would have to be the devil for it not to have effect on me."

The Doc wrote some points on his note. Oscar wondered what the Doc thought about him.

"You are right. Experiences like that have an effect on your mind. Most especially it can lead to PTSD. Do you know what that is, Oscar?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm not Six." Oscar responded sarcastically.

"Do you think you have PTSD, Oscar? Doc asked.

"That's why I'm paying you money. That's your job Doc. Tell me. Do I have PTSD?" Oscar threw the question right back at him.

"I think personally it's to early to diagnose. But by the end of our session, if you open up enough by answering the questions I ask truthfully, I would be able to diagnose properly."

"So Oscar, do you think you would answer my question truthfully?"

There was a quiet hum in the room. The Doc tried another approach in treating Oscar because the scar he carried went deeper into his heart than any other patient that had sat on that chair.

"I'll try." Oscar responded.

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