Holding On By Letting Go

I had no choice! He left me no option! I didn't want to be a collateral damage 😪

Good morning everyone,

Talking about ghosting someone isn't something strange to me anymore, but I never imagined I would ghost someone so close to me, especially not my childhood friend. SomtoChukwu was his name, We grew up like brother; a friend in whom I was well pleased.

I met him when I was in Primary 3 I think, and we became very good friends and inseparable
We trekked to school together, escorted each other back home. We were so close that when you can't find me in our house, that automatically means I was in their house.
Both families were happy for our friendship as we took turns to help out each other with our house chores.
We would jokingly talk about the various things in life we would love to explore and where we even wanted to be in life.

In no distant time, we finished primary school and then came the radical change that happened while I was away, I went to a boarding school while he went to a day school.

When I come back from mid-term break, I would hurriedly rush to see my good friend since we didn't communicate via phone althrough as phones weren't allowed in my school, but I will meet him with some friends we've already said we would never keep because of how notorious they are in the street.

I opened up immediately and told him I wasn't comfortable if he wants to be close with those friends and he would jokingly tell me, they were here to see his elder brother not him.
Not so long, we went back to school and life continued.

Only for me to come back during the long vacation to hear that my friend who we always detest cultism together was handed over the secretary of Bagas cultists or whatever they call it. It was both confusing and difficult to comprehend but it was what it is. I asked different persons and they confirmed it was true.

Personally, I detest cultists and don't want anything yo do with them irrespective of how close we were before. This was because once in a while cultists clash violently killing their opponents and one thing they always do is to go for the weak link when they can't get their target, that! Was the singular reason I had to leave and ghost my childhood friend entirely.
I am a weak link! And I won't like to be some form of collateral damage for anybody..

It was a decision I took in pain, but I will forever be happy I didn't ghost him because of some personal grief petty anger, or unresolved problem we had, it was out of self-love because Sometimes ghosting is not cruelty; it is survival.

Source

Life forces us to make some decisions, ghosting for me became a personal grief. Everyday, I wish I could reach out to him but I can't because I don't want anything at all with cultist... I refuse to lose myself when I am trying to hold someone who is already gone

Thank you for reading and have a nice day ahead 👍