5 minute freewrite 2839 prompt painter

This is my post for #freewriters 2839 prompt painter hosted by @mariannewest

I do not know the painter of this cat. I took the picture from a painting that was on the wall at a vet's office. It was odd because it was a cat on the wall of the room they put us in with the dog. I guess they do not discriminate.

For at least a year now, I have been thinking that I need to get off of the pain meds, but I need something to take their place. I have been on them for a long time, and I can tell a difference in my health and attitude. I do not enjoy things like I used to, and I have been losing too much weight, not to mention feeling like crap all of the time.

I was eating edibles to help with my appetite, but my doctor did not like me eating them. I tried plain CBD, and it did nothing for me. I read about wild lettuce and ordered seeds and a bottle of tincture. The seeds will not germinate until the temperature is under 85°F, and it takes 2 years to grow. The tincture I ordered was made with water, everyone says to get the pain relieving properties, it has to be made with alcohol. I took it for a few days, and it gave me a slight headache.

I was reading on a natural remedy site about CBG and how it helps with chronic pain. I talked to my doctor before ordering it, and she told me we will try it, and the next time I come in, she will drug test me. If I fail, then I can not take the CBG. I have taken it for 2 days now, and it has not helped. I also found a site that sold the wild lettuce, and I ordered 4oz to make tea with. It has not come yet.

Two months ago, my doctor cut me from a 50 mg fentanyl patch to a 20mg. I took the 20 for one month and quit putting one on the last week of July. For one week, things were not good. I did not have any sweating or shaking, the doctor asked me that, but I did feel very uncomfortable, nothing I did helped. To help get by that week, I took extra pills, but now I am back to the normal amount.

After getting over the withdrawal from the fentanyl, I tried going as long as I could stand it without taking a pain pill, but that did not work.

I googled how to stop opioids, and Google wants me to talk to my doctor or go to a rehab.

Until I can find something to help curb the pain, I do not think I will be able to stop taking them.

I am not giving up, there has to be something other than taking opioids to relieve pain.

The pills have never done anything to help the pain I have in my hand. As long as I do not move it, I am ok. But as soon as the bones move, it is a terrible pain of bone on bone.

It has started hurting while using the mouse and typing, which is why I have not been on the computer much, and why I am stopping this post.
photo of a photo is mine