Ladies of Hive Community Contest #275

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Greetings, Community


When have you completely misjudged someone upon first meeting them, only to later discover they were much better or much worse than you originally thought?

Judging is a rather complex issue. Even at my age, it's still difficult not to judge, because I've learned that everyone has their own story and acts based on it, because it's the world they know or their way of seeing their daily life, their actions.

We believe that judging makes us great or knowledgeable about people, perhaps because we don't like them. We grew up in an environment where we observe what others do to justify our own actions. There's always the phrase, "If it had been me, I would have done it this way," or "That person should do this or that." In this world, and due to tradition or heritage, we all go through these experiences, because that's how it's always been.


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When we understand this judging, we realize how much I've been judged, but we remember that that was my way of seeing things, and that's how I acted. This is where the crucial difference lies in focusing more on ourselves instead of judging others. As I mentioned, everyone acts based on their own history, and therefore their actions don't align with ours, leading us to believe they're doing things right or wrong from our perspective.

It happened to me a lot; I judged people. Sometimes I realized they weren't what people said about them, but other times they were the kind of people we kept our distance from, respecting their actions without getting involved.

I remember asking how to avoid judging others. The answer was to ask myself a question when I realized I was judging: "How does this thought about that person benefit me?" And I've used it; it's been quite helpful. Although these days I no longer fall into the trap of judging because it's a way to see people as they are, without any prejudice. Just think: "What's their story?"


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Written content property of the author
©Mercedes Mendoza. All rights reserved
Photographs courtesy of the author from her personal gallery, 2025/12/25
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Translator Google


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SPANISH version (click here)

Saludos Comunidad


¿Cuándo juzgaste completamente mal a alguien al conocerlo por primera vez y luego descubriste que era mucho mejor o mucho peor de lo que pensabas originalmente?

Juzgar es un tema bastante fuerte, aún a la edad que tengo cuesta un poco el NO juzgar, porque he aprendido que cada quien tiene su historia y actúan desde ellas porque es el mundo que conocen o es su forma de mirar su día a día, su vida, sus acciones.

Creemos que juzgar nos hace grandes o eruditos en conocer a las personas quizás porque no nos agraden. Crecimos en un entorno viendo lo que hacen los demás para cubrirnos en las acciones de nosotros mismos, siempre está la frase si hubiese sido yo, lo hubiese hecho de tal forma, o esa persona debería hacer esto o aquello…en el mundo y por tradición o herencia todos pasamos por estas experiencias, porque así ha sido siempre.

Cuando entendemos ese juzgar, caemos en cuenta y decimos cuanto me han juzgado a mi pero recuerdo que esa era mi forma de ver las cosas y así actuaba. Aquí entra esa gran diferencia de atendernos más en vez de ver a otros. Como refiero, cada quien actúa desde su historia y por ello no coinciden con la nuestra, creyendo que lo están haciendo mal o bien desde nuestra óptica.

Me pasó mucho, juzgué a las personas, en ocasiones si me daba cuenta que no era lo que decían de ella, otros casos si han sido de esas personas que la mantenemos de lejos, respetamos sus acciones sin involucrarnos.

Recuerdo que pregunté que como hacía para no juzgar a otros, la respuesta fue que me hiciera una pregunta cuando me diera cuenta que estaba juzgando, la pregunta es: ¿EN QUÈ ME BENEFICIA ESTO QUE PIENSO HACIA ESA PERSONA? Y si la he usado, me sirve bastante. Aunque en estos tiempos ya no caigo en los juegos de juzgar porque es una forma de ver a las personas como son sin ningún tipo de prejuicios. Sólo pensar: ¿CUÀL ES SU HISTORIA?



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(Edited)

Thinking about the story behind each person is very valuable, as you say, before falling into the trap of judging and without prejudice. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
!LADY
!PIZZA

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Making a good and accurate judgment is a part of our defensive and security instincts. It may be habit to fill in the puzzle pieces with speculation and guesses but is no substitute for asking the person(s) in question and learn of them first hand rather than depend on rumor or hearsay.

!LADY

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