One Morning in Lagos

Mornings are usually known for their calm serenity. But, every morning in Lagos is a different thing entirely. With the hustling and bustling, honking horns and the struggles of residents to make it through the day, would we say Lagos is just a city?

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This particular morning, around the Alagbado area, was initially a beautiful one. I woke up with joy, dressed up and was ready for church. I wasn't really a church boy. I had a change of mind when a beautiful girl I like invited me to her church. Me, Timisola James, popularly known as T.J, go to church? Never. In fact, this is my first time since time immemorial.

I looked at myself in the mirror. See fine boy. My Navy-blue shirt cut with the kind of precision that only bespoke craftsmanship could offer, and my black well-ironed trousers is a perfect fit for it. My shoes, polished black, and shining even more than Mama Tolu's pot which she uses to fry bean cake. Of course, it's not easy to impress a girl. I wore my gold wristwatch. Although, the lustrous gold tone is fading off and revealing a silvery base metal beneath. I reached for my wallet and slid it into my back pocket ensuring it fit snugly into the fabric of my trousers. Yes. All set. I left for church.

After waiting for 10 minutes at the bus stop trying to stop any available vehicle to take me to my desired destination but to no avail, a Keke-Maruwa(Tricycle) eventually stopped by. A woman carrying a basket on her lap was already seated.

"Driver, I'm going to Kola" I said.

"It's 400 naira. Please enter with your change" the driver replied.

The journey was a sweet one as the Keke rattled to life and squeezed past idle cars. However, the problem began after the driver carried one more passenger.

The man entered the Keke with confidence dragging a bag that barely fit between the seats. The woman with the basket sat in the middle.

"Oga, please shift. You can bend the bag" the woman said.

"I paid money ooo" the man retorted rudely.

"Didn't I pay money too? What is all this?" the woman replied at the top of her voice.

I was happy I sat at the rear end because It would have been so bad squeezing myself between a basket and a bag, and ruining my well-ironed shirt. We continued the journey and I was eager to get to church on time so Funmi will see me as a hot handsome looking young man. Lost in a reverie on how to comport myself in order to impress the girl of my dreams, the shouting voices brought me back to life.

"What is this?"

"I can't carry Amikanle to Kola for 200 naira!"

"You should have told me before I entered oo. I don't have 300 naira to give you. It's either you collect 200 naira or you forget about the money."

"Forget what? I'll show you what I'm made of this morning" the driver said as he tried to park his Keke by the side of the road.

The man jumped down clearly agitated. The Keke driver, a lanky man, jumped down too, fingers pointed.

"You'll have to pay me my money ooo, or else you won't leave here."

"Which money? Me, pay 300 naira for a short distance. From where to where? God forbid!"

A crowd began to gather. Some Okada riders parked their motorcycles to watch. A woman dressed for church also began to feed her eyes. Anger filled me from within. I was running late for church as a result of this whole drama.

"Take 200 naira or you forget about your money" the man shouted.

Reluctantly, the driver took the money. His eyes were red as a result of his anger.

"Oloshi (stupid boy)!" the driver said angrily and entered his Keke.

"Ewu (goat)!" the man replied and went his way.

When I got to my destination, the Keke slowed to a stop. I got down and paid the driver. In a few seconds, the Keke sped off. Remembering what had happened earlier, I shook my head. "Lagos is a madhouse," I said. After adjusting my shirt, I took a deep breath and walked towards the church direction, making every step seem like a runway model's stride. Funmi must be impressed.