I really wish I never...(Weekend-engagement topic week165)

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Hello everyone. You are welcome to my blog. As usual @galenkp always give us topics for #weekend-engagement and am glad to participate again this week.

I really wish I never... believed him

I have known Kingsley since way back 100Level but we hardly communicate, just a Hi and Hello greetings, we see regularly in departmental lectures, sometimes walkway and shops.

He was a cool guy from my observation always looking godly and friendly, I haven't seen or heard him having issues with anyone in the department unlike the lousy ones. I was always coming from home but it became difficult in 400L, the project topic we were given had to deal with rats, injecting some with a malaria infected blood and required us feeding them, having a close watch together with the control experiment. With this we had to have a roaster for feeding them in the animal house together with other things which made me feel I needed an hostel.

My dad declined at first but after series of thinking, he agreed and I moved to the hostel. Getting hostel was difficult because the hostel was few compared to students who needed it. You really need to link yourself to get a slot. I got a slot with the help of a friend to my dad and I started preparation for the hostel, to get it all signed was war, the queue and all even after getting the slot already it was close to a week before I completed the processes at the student's affairs. While going through all these, I met Kingsley again but this time it was more than just a "hi" greetings, we spoke at length about the stress of securing a school hostel and how he has not been seeing me in lectures, he quickly understood since it was what he passed through as well.

I finally packed to the hostel, with the help of my dad's car, this made it easier for me, that was how I got to Zamfara hostel, there was only one male hostel which was the Lagos hostel not too far from my hostel, gradually we started getting closer, going to night classes together, I felt protected,I can't imagine only me walking around in the midnight. I got to know his friends and they were nice to me.

My friends noticed I liked him and i was always worried if I did not see him, the heart wants what it wants anyway. We were just cool getting to know each other day by day, he was so close to me at that moment. Exams came and ended. He was done with his final projects, I was still on mine.

One night he called and told me he wanted to see me since our hostel was not far from each other's it was easy. We discussed, gist about all we have been passing through, and glad it's almost over, he asked for a hug and kissed me, I found it so strange due to the kind of reserved person he was and again this was the first time he did this. Well I didn't know this was gonna be the last time I would see him.

I thought the feeling was mutual, perhaps just the moment alone but the weeks that followed made me know I was dating myself, it started with a text I received the morning after we kissed telling me he had already left the school hostel, I was surprised, we met a night before, why didn't he tell me?? so many things going through my mind, I told my roommate who calmed me down and made me take mind off it. I was done with my project too and submitted then I left the school premises.

It was time to start planning for convocation, but no call or texts from Kingsley. I decided to call one morning, he picked and said he was in morning devotion he will call me back, I waited,but he didn't call back, someone we communicate daily became scarce, it was then I texted and wanted to know what was going on. He came online and when I asked him the question, who am I to you? He said, "you are just my friend and we cannot be together". These words broke me, I felt sad, what happened to all we shared, does it mean I was the only one in love, Oh! I wished I didn't let my feelings cloud my thinking. I should have been more cautious. My everyday companion turned to a total stranger.

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