The Plastic Chair

Every era leaves behind its monuments.

Antiquity gave us columns. The Middle Ages built cathedrals. The Industrial Revolution gave us bridges and steam engines.

Our own era will be remembered not for the internet, smartphones or artificial intelligence. It will be remembered for the plastic chair.

It may well be the most versatile object our civilisation has ever produced.

You'll find it everywhere — by the sea, in backyards, outside tyre shops, at weddings and funerals, on fishing trips, in village stores, in government offices, on film sets and even at international economic summits. If necessary, almost any event can be organised using nothing but plastic chairs.

The plastic chair recognises no social hierarchy. It seats pensioners, billionaires and people making decisions that affect millions with the same quiet indifference.

When future archaeologists excavate the remains of our civilisation, they will almost certainly uncover millions of plastic chairs scattered across the planet. Naturally, they will conclude these were ceremonial thrones. It would simply be impossible to believe that the very same object was used at barbecues, weddings, political rallies, children's birthday parties, bus stops — and for a thousand other purposes its designers never intended.

History books will record: "The Cult of the Plastic Chair spread across virtually the entire planet."

One question, however, will remain unanswered: how did the plastic chair always know where to be?

Tobolsk, Siberia, Russia.
June, 2022.
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