Healthy Lifestyle Day

You wake up early one morning, and your better half declares a Healthy Lifestyle Day. Today, she says, we’re going for a walk in the forest, breathing fresh air, eating wholesome food, and generally becoming the best version of ourselves. At this point, you haven’t even finished loading the basic version of yourself yet, but you consider resistance strategically unwise.

So you get dressed in silence, sensing that your sneakers are about to discover the full depth of the local gorges. The route runs through hills, streams, and waterfalls — what healthy lifestyle terminology calls a morning workout, and what common sense would define as voluntarily overcoming obstacles.

And here you are, voluntarily climbing over rocks, squeezing through narrow gorges, and balancing along the stream, regularly testing your sneakers for water resistance.

The forest is beautiful, of course: sunbeams filter through the canopy, water babbles, birds sing.

But walking along a stream is only romantic until you realize your feet are soaked and there’s still at least half an hour of brisk walking left.

Finally, you reach your destination — the waterfall. The bench here feels like an oasis in the desert. You sit down with the expression of someone who has just completed a marathon and begin philosophically drying your sneakers.

Nearby, a local cat watches you with barely concealed contempt. In its eyes, you can read an entire lecture on how normal creatures spend their mornings lying somewhere warm instead of climbing mountains of their own free will (allegedly).

If this cat could hold a wine glass, it would certainly prefer that to any morning workout.

Meanwhile, your better half, as if completely unaware of fatigue, is doing exercises against the backdrop of water cascading down a high cliff. Her energy is overflowing, sharply contrasting with your desire to turn into a stone and remain motionless.

The return path follows a different trail, which miraculously leads you into a village hidden among dense forests. You slowly read the sign on the nearest building, savoring every letter. Winery. The place looks like a temple you’ve stumbled upon after long and arduous adventures.

Inside, there’s no one — just rows of bottles and a faint, almost tangible scent of impending relaxation. Nearby stands a special offer that looks like a sign from above: two for six euros. At that very moment, your better half’s logic undergoes a remarkable transformation. Wine instantly becomes the healthiest product imaginable, rich in antioxidants and essential nutrients.

And just like that, you’re pressing several bottles to your chest like trophies from the battlefield, feeling that the healthy lifestyle day has unexpectedly found its proper direction. You walk home unhurriedly, smiling and anticipating an excellent continuation of the day.

The only irony is that the clock has barely struck ten in the morning, and you already feel that you’ve truly become the best version of yourself — the one that earned its reward despite all the rules of healthy living.

^{Inspired by true events.}

Thanks for reading!

Troodos, Cyprus.
October, 2013.
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